The Five Love Languages
Red roses are great and all, but sometimes what we actually want is breakfast in bed, or a letter that says how beautiful we are. Imagine that on Valentine's Day last year, you got your partner what you thought was a really special gift, but your partner didn’t seem to appreciate it. You felt sad about it, because it was pretty expensive and you made an effort to buy something extra nice. But don’t worry! It might just be that you and your partner speak different love languages. You simply have different ways of expressing, showing and feeling love.
It’s important to deepen your understanding of each other, and figure out your love languages. Lots of people who don’t feel loved or seen enough in their relationships say that when they understood their own and their partner's love languages, it was a real "eye opener" for the relationship. They began to see things they had not noticed before as acts of love, and it was easier to give attention to their partner in the way their partner likes best. Did you know that you often express love with your own love language, rather than your partner’s? Remember that love comes in many forms, and that some languages mean more than others depending on which love language a person has. Find out yours!
Gary Chapman, who wrote the book The Language of Love, believes that every person has a "love tank" within them, that fills up when we feel loved, and that we all possess a primary - and often a secondary - love language. The five love languages are:
1. Physical touch
3. Quality time
4. Acts of service
5. Words of affirmation