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What is Active Love?

Active Love is the concept that drives Coupleness. It is the idea that we can actively invest in our relationships. Just like with your personal wellness, your relationship needs to be thought of and tended to. Active Love is about recognizing that there are habits, practices and activities you can do to strengthen your relationship.

Just like personal wellness
When you want to have good physical and mental health, there are actions you can take: eat well, go to the gym, do something creative, get enough sleep… you know the drill. The same goes for your relationship’s health. The initial spark at the beginning of your relationship isn’t enough to sustain a fulfilling, enduring partnership. Active love is taking action in your relationship; think of Coupleness as your relationship’s meal plan, gym, creative space and cozy corner all in one.


You don’t have to settle
When it comes to Active Love, we can get rid of our “it is what it is” attitudes. You don’t need to feel defeated or resigned to accept the things that don’t feel good in your relationship. Now, if your relationship doesn’t feel like it’s good for you, maybe it’s time to say goodbye. But when you have the potential for a great relationship, Active Love is about finding tools to work on what doesn’t feel right. But it’s not always about focusing on what’s not working; you can lean into the strongest parts of your relationship and build from there.

Small steps for big changes
Active Love is not necessarily about making a big drastic change, but rather is about small improvements in everyday life. When you train to run a marathon, you don’t start by running the full marathon on your first day, right? All it takes is a first step, and then a second, and then a third. No giant leaps necessary. With Active Love, aim to do something small for your partner every day. You might not even realize things are getting better until one day you look back and can see how far you’ve come. A 1% improvement per day leads to a 37x better relationship in one year.


Practical tools for Active Love
Coupleness helps you get started with Active Love by providing tools you can use, even on your busiest days. Our daily tracker takes just 3 minutes a day, but creates a foundation for better communication and a deeper understanding of your partner. You can try out different micro-habits, simple practices that are easy to integrate into everyday life and bring you closer together. If you have a little bit more time, our articles and relationship boosters can offer you insights and opportunities for growth. And we’re always adding new features and practical tools to help you invest in Active Love.

A solid foundation
Active Love is a great practice in everyday life, but can also help you get through life’s hardships. If you’ve already invested in your relationship and built a strong foundation with your partner, you are more stable and ready to handle things when one of you loses a job, or you struggle after having a baby, or - dare we say it - a global pandemic hits. Being proactive can make all the difference. If we can get stronger when things are good, we’re in a better position when things get tough.

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